명석함, 회복력, 그리고 감사: 엘리엇 코니와 함께하는 영감과 동기부여 #208 #팟캐스트

And because you love dogs, it impacts how you talk to them, how you treat them. It impacts how you ask them to perform. So I would say the difference between solution-focused brief therapy and traditional psychotherapy is evident that I love my clients. That's a word I think most psychotherapists are not comfortable using, but I don't understand why. I didn't say I was in love with my clients, but like I love my clients. It impacts how I talk to them. It impacts how I ask them to perform. It impacts how I do what I do. And a conversation that is about solution-focused brief therapy, it's a conversation that's about inviting the best version of your client into the room so that things change. I watched Susan do this incredible thing where, like she said, sit, move forward, move back. And the dog did exactly what Susan did. And I was still blown away because it didn't look like commands. It looked like an invitation. And it was like the dog was like responding to the invitation that Susan was giving. And I would say that's the difference is when I'm doing therapy, I'm not asking my clients to change. I'm not making my clients change. I'm not commanding my clients to change. I'm respectfully and lovingly inviting them to change. And I think that's what solution-focused brief therapy is about. That's beautiful. And so I know you, Elliot, and you're always like so immotivated. And you spoke about that on your podcast, I think, yesterday or one day this week. And, you know, there are times when you're training your dog that things aren't going so swell and it's hard to stay motivated. So what would you say to people that get in that position? Well, first thing I would say, we all get in that position because we're all human. But I think there are two things that helped me overcome that position. Number one, I never forget when I dreamt about these problems. And what I mean by that is, like, if I wake up on a day, like, I just went on a little bit of a European tour. I was in France. I was in Germany. And then I was in England. And there are days you wake up and you're like, oh, I'm so tired from jet lag. And I always remember, I remember being like, I grew up as in, like, my father was super abusive and we have a lot of money. And I remember being like, I used to dream about waking up jet lag in Europe. And that changes your perspective when you never forget where you came from and why you started. And I think the second thing is teaching yourself to have gratitude about everything. Like, everything.

I think sometimes we remember to have gratitude about, like, I'm so thankful that I have my 200th podcast. Which, by the way, shout out to Susan. Congratulations. But, like, I want you to have gratitude that, like, I woke up this morning and my feet touched the floor and I could feel the cold tile on my floor, on my feet. And I know a lot of people woke up today and they couldn't feel it. And a lot of people woke up today and they couldn't move. And so, I mean, like, having gratitude about, like, everything. Because then what happens on that day when your dog is not performing and you're really, really frustrated, you remember that, like, I love this dog. You remember that, like, I used to dream about having a dog like this. And there's one day going to be a day when this dog is too old to perform. There's one day going to be a day where I have to say goodbye to this dog. And on the day when you say goodbye to the dog, you're going to miss the day when the dog didn't perform and was barking when you didn't want it to bark. And I've trained my brain to be grateful of everything, including my problems. All of it. I love it all. Absolutely all of it. That is such an amazing approach and why you're such a special human that, yeah, to, I mean, gratitude is my favorite of all the virtues. You know, and those of you listening, if you do not write in a gratitude journal at night, you know, start off just before you go to bed and think of three things you're grateful for. And then when you feel like you're in a, you know, you're more into this groove, then pull out the gratitude journal and it will change you. And, and when you are in a tough spot, I just, Elliot, I love that line about go back and think about why you got a dog in the first place. Yeah, for real. For real. Go back and think about, go back and think about why did you start doing the thing you started doing? And remember, I once dreamt about the day I had these kinds of problems. Nice. Nice. So if there was, um, and, and you may have already answered this. If, if you think of all of the people who've come through your office door and if there is one thing you could wish for them to believe in their own, in their own heart, like a hundred percent, you could snap your fingers and they would believe this one thing. What would it be? That they're awesome. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I think, I think we walk around on this planet believing lie. Yeah. And the lie we all believe is that our flaws are more impactful than our brilliance. Hmm.

And if there were one thing I could snap my fingers, people do is I want to switch that because we all have brilliance. We all have flaws. I want everybody to know that your brilliance is far more impactful and far more noticeable than your flaws. And when you become more attuned to your brilliance, then you make decisions that are in line with your brilliance. When you, you become more in tune with your brilliance, then it makes you more resilient. It makes you more ambitious. It makes you more gratuitous. It makes you more hopeful. It literally transforms your life because the greatest lesson I could ever share with anybody is your brilliance is important and your flaws are irrelevant. That's what, that would be the one thing. There is. Oh my gosh. You are just so cool. Thank you for being here. Elliot doesn't even have a dog, but his, his mentality just resonates so much with what we do. And so, um, thank you, my friend for being on and no, thank you for having me. Hi to you, Elliot. Swagger saying hi. Don't tell. I said hi back and I can't wait till I return to Ontario and I hang out with your amazing family of dogs and not go for a walk around the pond and get my shoes. Try to get Elliot to take his feet, his shoes off and walk with me barefoot around the property. Nope. They go over. Elliot's a city kid. Uh, so, so one thing I don't do is walk around barefoot in grass cause it makes my feet get itchy and pretty gross. Um, but I, I love being around Susan. Susan is one of the most amazing humans I've ever seen. And every human knows Susan and every dog who knows Susan is better for it. And I consider myself so great to have a friend like Susan. I love Susan. Uh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you too, buddy. And, uh, let's have some hearts for Elliot and we'll talk soon. Elliot, thank you so much. Thank you. böyle böyle böyle