A deep trust and love for each other

This word is used so often! We all crave a connection with our animals. In the horse world this term is bandied about by many equine professionals promising the earth!! I learnt about connection with my horse Magnum and in order to describe connection here, I will talk about some of our journey. He was untouchable when he came to us, caught wild, taken to the sales – and ended up with us – because my daughter fell in love with him. For years I sought help – all to no avail - I wanted to be able to just walk up to him and touch him!!! When I found positive reinforcement training, things started to change. Clicker training laid down a foundation from which to build the connection. But it only began there…. When we started he was so tense – he wanted the reward, but he was trying to learn while being anxious with every move. I had to strip it all back – the click would startle him – so I said a gentle 'good'. I asked for less – relaxing the mouth, blinking the eye, breathing out….. then I left him with treats. It was ever so short. That 'space' between the 'doing' is where I believe the real connection started to take place….. Magnum had plenty of time to process the interaction. Slowly the neck started to relax, the eye softened – I could touch him further and further along his back. He was looking for me – he wanted more – but I had to be ever so careful not to layer clicker work over his underlying tension. Kay Laurence pioneered 'microshaping'. Alexandra Kurland took it to the horse world. I like to think I was working in 'micro moves'…… these smallest of steps built not only his confidence, but stripped away his anxiety to reveal the most wonderful, loving horse. The small steps enhanced my observational skills, and at the same time deepened my empathy for him. However, it wasn't until I started teaching him how to pick up his hooves – and prepare him for hoof trimming – that I could confidently say we had a 'connection'. I had never trimmed a horse before – and I was starting on Magnum! I studied hoof trimming and then I went out and did small amounts of hoof lifting with him. I bought a hoof stand – and the first time he had his hoof on the stand I jumped for joy. He was thrilled – and the hoof stand is still met with nickers!!! When I first saw his neglected hooves I cried – not only for him – but I cried because it was up to me to fix them for him. I saw this moment as a 'connection' moment. We were a team – we were learning together – and I believe that the success, for both of us, in the hoof trimming project, has been our finest hour!!! We were

proud together – I think at times we 'laughed' together. I learnt about all his sore spots – how he moved his body. Our language deepened as he would remove one hoof and offer another – so he could rest muscles – I would move to whichever hoof he was comfortable with. It was incredibly slow – but there was magic in the slowness. On days when it was all too hard we would just 'hug'. I would abandon the trimming and we would do some other small thing to help his confidence. The whole process changed so many other things – I could then touch him all over and under the belly. He was okay with sprays (whereas before he would run away). I had tried previously to introduce a spray very slowly and carefully – but without too much success. Now he decided it was okay! He would have cream on his nose – I could wipe his eye. I could also use clippers on him so I could treat his legs……. And now I use a grinder on the hoof he cannot lift any more……. Connection is built on mutual trust, empathy, understanding, communicating in a language both animal and human can understand – and for animals like Magnum ….. time…….. Having a connection is the most wonderful feeling – he is my friend – and if he were human I could see us sitting back, enjoying the surrounds – and reminiscing with photos about how far we have both come…. Being proud of ourselves – and most importantly having a deep trust and love for each other… If you would like to read more about Heather and Magnum's journey you can follow her blog. 8 Comments Iris Maxfield on 31st December 2018 at 12:36 pm Really enjoyed this story of Magnum and the whole learning process you went through together, that has ended in such a close bond/trust. Reply Heather Binns on 31st December 2018 at 9:15 pm Thankyou Iris! It has been quite the journey – and worth it every step of the way!! Reply Chris Bond on 31st December 2018 at 8:38 pm Inspiring story, Heather. Magnum is so fortunate to have found you. This sentence speaks to me: “That ‘space’ between the ‘doing’ is where I believe the real connection started to take place…..” Reply Heather Binns on 31st December 2018 at 9:26 pm Thankyou Chris! Yes – I learnt that the ‘space’ is so important!!!! Reply Julie van Schie on 31st December 2018 at 9:20 pm Inspirational Heather, thank you! Reply Heather Binns on 31st December 2018 at 9:27 pm Thankyou Julie! Now I have seen all the other contributions I can’t wait to read them!!! Reply Alyce on 17th June 2019 at 8:58 pm Your friendship with Magnum is a gift we should all be so fortunate to share with a loved one. Reply Heather Binns on 1

7th June 2019 at 11:46 pm Thankyou Alyce! He is truly a very special horse! Reply Submit a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Comment * Name * Email * Website Submit Comment Δ The Joy of Learning by Frances McCormack | 2nd August 2022 | Connection | 0 Comments Curiosity, discovery, success, confidence, understanding, growth: all of these things can nurture a joy of learning for its own sake Read More In praise of naughty dogs by Frances McCormack | 31st January 2022 | Connection , Life with Dogs | 14 Comments .. a desire for solutions to problems that weren’t problems until someone else outside of the relationship suggested they were. Read More Connection starts with invitation by Sarah Owings | 1st January 2019 | Connection | 15 Comments Connection thrives in the absence of expectations, a precious freedom that fills the space between two beings when there is no agenda, no time limit, no “have to get it done.” Read More Connection is a dynamic quantity by Silvia Franken | 31st December 2018 | Connection | 1 Comment Connection is a dynamic product of three ingredients: an emotional bond, memory and mental focus. Read More A deep trust and love for each other by Kay Laurence | 31st December 2018 | Connection | 8 Comments I learnt about connection with my horse Magnum. He was untouchable when he came to us, caught wild, taken to the sales – and ended up with us – because my daughter fell in love with him. Read More A lesson in connection by Susan Friedman | 31st December 2018 | Connection | 6 Comments At first, it barely made it through the door. But it kept tapping and when I let it in, it had connection written all over it. It surprises me that it is a lesson I need repeated so often. Read More Feeling comfortable by Time Collie | 30th December 2018 | Connection | 1 Comment We take time to train, but how connected are we as their trainer? Read More of yogis, dogs and humans by Kay Laurence | 29th December 2018 | Connection | 0 Comments Connection, as expression of trust, relationship, and finally of the deep attraction, which develops so easily between dogs and their human fellows, stains every single interaction and can be used as a potent reinforcer. Read More What does connection look like? by Kay Laurence | 27th December 2018 | Connection | 3 Comments It comes in many forms. Walking together, sitting quietly together, sharing a mental or physical task. Individuals can be connected without looking at each other; just feeling each other’s presence is perhaps the strongest type of connection. Thes

e activities can all be done with or without connection, but with connection they appear fluent. Read More Connection: A Conversation for Life by Kay Laurence | 26th December 2018 | Connection | 8 Comments In the busy-ness of life connection can be the last thing considered. Living with a dog is about developing a relationship and all successful relationships are based on connection. So just what is connection and why is it important? Read More